Our annual flag football tournament has come and gone. Teams from around the country (or at least one team from a neighbouring province) gathered for one mighty display of football tossing, flag-grabbing, and short-shorts sporting.
Our team started the day with great enthusiasm, naturally due to our flawless strategies and self-proclaimed athletic prowess. We ended the day with one nearly broken nose, and some massive doses of humble pie washed down with beer and pizza.
I still remember the rush of adrenaline (not to mention testosterone) as our team joined hands for our first and only display of team spirit. "GOOOO TEAM!!" we all screamed, as offense headed off to the field to crush the opposition.
There was no need for Todd (our quarterback and captain) to whip out the strategy necklace yet, as we all knew the first two plays backwards and forwards. This in itself may have been our downfall, as it seems we all chose the backwards route: the ball was intercepted and the Barrie defense ran a touchdown.
Barrie: 2 (or was it 3?)
Us: 11 broken hearts
It was at this point that I stopped keeping track of score. After all, it's all relative anyways, isn't it? We're really only there to have fun! It's a darn good thing we clarified that right from the beginning…
I do seem to recall a tie against one team, and if my memory serves me properly that team was comprised of two girls and a bunch of 15 year old boys. Our only sense of victory in that game came from Fab and Matt – totaling 460 pounds of pure muscle – landing on and pulverizing some 80 pound kid, who I believe was carried away clutching his bruised kidneys with broken fingers.
A number of injuries were sustained throughout the day. Todd was close-lined by some unapologetic clod, resulting in a broken/dislocated nose. The rest of the team was very supportive, helping Todd to a safe area where we wouldn't have to worry about him getting blood on us.
There were no other notable damages, but the majority of the team spent the evening sucking back beverages and slathering on the Tiger Balm. As for me, I type this story with one swollen aching finger and a stiff back. Not to worry, my wonderful wife is very attentive to healing me with soothing lectures and mockings.
I don't really know if there's anything more to say. I only hope that next year we can practice maybe more than once, and maybe even win a game!